FUCK

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Yay, happy 2nd post. Heh.

I woke up super early today, at 8.30am, whoo! :) And, I ate crabs for 2 consecutive days, how cool is that? :)

One thing, people take note, don't ever eat oily chicken rice. Never. It will make you sleep for 4 whole hours, like it did to me. I totally zonked out and woke up only during dinner time. wth-.-

Anyway, I went to my brother's blog and read this poem he wrote. It's a killer, really. I nearly cried.

Here goes:

we're sitting side by side,
on the hilltop where love used to fly.
your body against mine,
intoxicated,
what we have is one of a kind.

i'm watching you,
watching you look away into the distance.
somewhere,
a land where your dreams sound with resonance.

but as much as i want this to last,
we both know letting you go is OUR must.
basking in what we could've become,
my heart can't help but erupt.

it's the stabs,
the stabs of reality that are thrusting into me.
a reality that will come to be,
no matter how much we want to flee.

so go now, my dear,
into that reality that excudes me.
and remember,
no matter what happens, don't hesitate.
don't look back,
lest you see the weaker man i'll become without you.

i'll run after you,
crying out your name.
but don't look back, my darling.

even if you feel our love die in your heart,
leave with my love into the dark.

Heartbreaking huh, I think so too.

To you-know-who, I don't know what the heck is going on in your mind, seriuosly. You act like I'm supposed to know what you want and what you need. I don't blame you for NEEDING more time, but I just get really frustrated when you DON'T say anything and I'm supposed to know what to do. Earth to you, I have feelings too, you know. Explain to me how this works: You just shut up and act all weird(all of a sudden), then, expect me to relax, not to over-think things and act normal? All I need you to do is to say something, that's all. Only then can I respond to something, right? Unfortunately, that's not what you did. All you did was to hang me by the thread, for longer than you think I can handle, and expect me to pretend nothing has happened. That's just plain weird. I will not pretend nothing has happened. It's just not right, like something obviously happened and I'm supposed to act all normal? I'm hurt and I am not afraid to show it. I really thought you would be more responsible in the way you handle things, but maybe you are just like what everyone says.

I really don't know if you will ever read this, but I'm just going to say it. I am dissapointed, sad, hurt and really confused. But, I will not be anymore after tonight. I'm not saying that you caused all this, partly was because I tend to over-think things. You did leave a mark in my heart. And I thank you for everything, like really everything, the good and bad. But, I need you to know that I need to move on. I don't do hanging-by-the-thread kind of thing. So, that's all, from me to you.

I want to thank TONG TONG TONG LI SHI for helping me with this blogskin thing. I gave you the benefit of my password okay, haha.

That's all.

Ciao, all earthings and YOU.

It was awesome,
but we lost it,
it's not possible for me not to care.

8:52 PM